anorexic children
Jan. 17th, 2009 07:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
denelianby which i mean CHILDREN. not TEENAGERS; the main girl followed is 8
http://tinyurl.com/7spau4
all i can say right now is: THIS is the Patriarchy. THIS is unreasonable beauty standards for women, starting at earlier and earlier ages. this is high heels, this is Rush Limbaugh roasting Caroline Kennedy for having the audacity to EAT in PUBLIC (yep. women are now not allowed to EAT IN PUBLIC). this is lipstick and diet fads and girdles vs thongs. this is photoshopped models and pop singers shaving their heads.
in short, this is what women are TOLD, constantly, they MUST DO.
don't believe, or don't understand? go look at a Cosmo. pick up a national enquirer - note how current Oprah is being called a heifer and other horrible names... while male celebrities are ALLOWED to age AND to gain weight. watch a movie, and notice how most roles for women are either young women who are fuckable, or old women who are either mothers or evil, an sometimes both. the instances of older women being NOT a mother are so low that they are actually COUNTABLE. hell, turn on the TV and notice how ALL of those women are like size 1's. they have no curves, all of them are essentially anorexic, but it's not an issue with ADULT women because when it's an adult, it's obvious she is being anorexic to control her weight so she can get a man - and the patriarchy APPROVES of women getting men. it's only when it's a child being anorexic that it's an issue, because children are supposed to be sexless and therefor the anorexia is inexplicable; they obviously aren't trying to lose weight to get a man, because they are not old enought to get a man. so anorexia in a child is dangerous, but in an adult is expected.
this is why i sometimes come off as a rad-feminist. i am afraid that the ONLY way to change anything is through radical movement. i mean, most people refuse to even see that there IS a fucking problem, let alone attempt to define it or fix it. when i bitch about unreal and impossible beauty standards, the typical reply back is something along the lines of "You're just bitching because you are fat and unattractive". even though i am not "fat" - i am only maybe 25 pounds overweight, which makes me PLUMP - and i am obviously not unattractive, at least going by the number of guys who try to get me into bed. of course, most of them wouldn't have dated me, so there is still that element of maybe i am only good for fucking, that maybe i am too fat for a guy to want a relationship with me.
but then again, i have Pete, and not only does he want to have sex with me, but he wants the relationship. we are living together, and we are going on 5 years...
fuck it. it's the Patriarchy, and it's wrong. look around and see it before jumping on me for being mad at it.
http://tinyurl.com/7spau4
all i can say right now is: THIS is the Patriarchy. THIS is unreasonable beauty standards for women, starting at earlier and earlier ages. this is high heels, this is Rush Limbaugh roasting Caroline Kennedy for having the audacity to EAT in PUBLIC (yep. women are now not allowed to EAT IN PUBLIC). this is lipstick and diet fads and girdles vs thongs. this is photoshopped models and pop singers shaving their heads.
in short, this is what women are TOLD, constantly, they MUST DO.
don't believe, or don't understand? go look at a Cosmo. pick up a national enquirer - note how current Oprah is being called a heifer and other horrible names... while male celebrities are ALLOWED to age AND to gain weight. watch a movie, and notice how most roles for women are either young women who are fuckable, or old women who are either mothers or evil, an sometimes both. the instances of older women being NOT a mother are so low that they are actually COUNTABLE. hell, turn on the TV and notice how ALL of those women are like size 1's. they have no curves, all of them are essentially anorexic, but it's not an issue with ADULT women because when it's an adult, it's obvious she is being anorexic to control her weight so she can get a man - and the patriarchy APPROVES of women getting men. it's only when it's a child being anorexic that it's an issue, because children are supposed to be sexless and therefor the anorexia is inexplicable; they obviously aren't trying to lose weight to get a man, because they are not old enought to get a man. so anorexia in a child is dangerous, but in an adult is expected.
this is why i sometimes come off as a rad-feminist. i am afraid that the ONLY way to change anything is through radical movement. i mean, most people refuse to even see that there IS a fucking problem, let alone attempt to define it or fix it. when i bitch about unreal and impossible beauty standards, the typical reply back is something along the lines of "You're just bitching because you are fat and unattractive". even though i am not "fat" - i am only maybe 25 pounds overweight, which makes me PLUMP - and i am obviously not unattractive, at least going by the number of guys who try to get me into bed. of course, most of them wouldn't have dated me, so there is still that element of maybe i am only good for fucking, that maybe i am too fat for a guy to want a relationship with me.
but then again, i have Pete, and not only does he want to have sex with me, but he wants the relationship. we are living together, and we are going on 5 years...
fuck it. it's the Patriarchy, and it's wrong. look around and see it before jumping on me for being mad at it.
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no subject
Date: 2009-01-18 04:54 am (UTC)I will give you that women have gotten a short thrift throughout history (massive understatement) but when it comes to fashion, etc. don't point fingers at the evil straight male.
Look to Kate White (cosmo), Bonnie Fuller (YM, Cosmo, Mairie Claire, Glamour), Valentino Garavani (Designer and gay man),Tom Ford (Gucci designer who went solo and a gay man), Donatella Versace (transvestite right??;) ).
These people tell america and american women what is beautiful and amazingly enough the form they choose is most often a tall, thin and very boyish female form. I think while the media may present that image and on the surface men pay lip service to it, generally the bulk of us prefer curves.
If fashion models, fashion magazines and Hollywood started presenting a more reasonable (and healthy) female form alot of these eating disorders would diminish.
I encourage my children to make healthy choices, using myself as an example of bad choices. Other than restricting sweets because of behavior and health, I would never tell my kids they had to drink diet coke and could only have a salad.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-18 07:59 am (UTC)but here is a place where the patriarchy oppressing women and the patriarchy oppressing men transect - MOST men, while they may PREFER curves, WILL STILL PICK THE WOMAN WHO MOST CLOSELY CONFORMS TO THE SOCIALIZED NORMS OF BEAUTY.
i once dated a guy who prefered women who were twice my size - he dated me because i was the *smallest* woman he could handle, and he explained to me that he got too much shit from people he knew when he dated "fater" women.
look at the movie "Shallow Hal",,, men may not PREFER socialized norms, but believe you me, they sure as fuck try to enforce them! the reason that i like you, and many of the other guys that i know, is because you reject to some extent those norms. but please, really please, look at who enforces them. the rich guys, who pick the fashion models. Playboy/Hugh Hefner, Brad Pitt and other stars, sports figures... etc. those straight (generally) white rich powerful guys reinforce the stereotype by NEVER dating out of mold. it's not just because we see supermodels; it's because every man society tells us to want ONLY dates women who look like that.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-18 05:34 pm (UTC)Also,lets be fair, women are as judgemental about appearance as men, if not more so. I had a distorted body image way before I was teh fat, thanks in a large part to the girls more than the boys. I was skinny and wouldn't take my shirt off because I thought I was fat. I would only eat one meal a day and probably was damned close to becoming Anorexic. Check out my facebook pics, there is one of me in there.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-18 08:48 pm (UTC)the thing is, you are - right there, in that reply - denying any agency to a lot of people. what you are not wanting to see is that it takes ALL of these people to make, and reinforce, these impossible beauty standards.
following a societal norm means that you are REINFORCING it, whether or not you think you can control it. gay men are NOT the ones who decide what is attractive, they merely decide who they are going to use as models. the people who decide what is considered attractive are all of the people whose opinion is sought by the masses - George Clooney or Brad Pitt or Barack Obama... does this make sense to you, as in do you understand what i am saying? when famous and popular guys decide to reinforce societal norms (and to be honest, when they have a hand in CREATING those norms, by pretty much only dating a certain type of women), that is when we start to see unrealistic beauty standards. when one MUST look AT A MINIMUM as beautiful as Angelina or Kate Moss, IN THE SAME TYPE OF BEAUTY, because variations are rejected, in order to be considered successful... that's where it starts. and then it ripples out for 3 or 4 decades, into what we have now. when it started, when these societal norms were just starting, gay men DID NOT control any industry, MEN did. MEN still do... gay men only really contribute in ONE area, they rest is run either by men or by women who do their best to act as they think men would act.
i am not trying to tar ALL men with that brush, btw. there is a distinct difference between "MEN!" and "male people". the first is a CLASS of people, defined not just by their gender but also by how they use that gender to creat themselves more power.
you, on the other hand, are generally a GUY and so when i scream MEN! i am NOT screaming at or about you.
all that said... i am sorry, i didn't know that. i've never said that girls were not as cruel, and you obviously knew some VERY cruel girls.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-19 03:01 am (UTC)i owe you an extra-breasty hug. (i mean, i'm monogomous, but i can do hugs :D ) or something. a muffin?
again, i am sorry. i'm pretty sure you won't hold it against me, but i feel that you deserved to know what was really going on, and to know that i am NOT mad at you, or blaming you, and that i am really truly NOT TRYING to take it out on you. i suck sometimes. sorry...
no subject
Date: 2009-01-19 06:00 am (UTC)rofl..no extra breasty hugs for me, having you purr on my leg as a pooka was hard enough on me to be able to talk in sentences, I don't think my heart could take an extra breasty hug.
I wasn't upset, I often come off mean when I debate anyways, so I'm not going to give someone else the evil eye for it. I will say though, sometimes it's hard, living a life where I have never had the power over women you describe "men" having. It's hard sometimes to see that my experiences aren't the sum total of existence. I've always had to use charm or cuteness to "get my way" and that got harder when I got fatter. At least I still have charm..that works once in a while! ;) I
no subject
Date: 2009-01-19 06:15 am (UTC)you know, when i wrote the offer of the "extra breasty hug" i was ALSO remember the Cat Pooka thing lol. i think its because that con, and that specific LARP, are what tilted us (in my head) from friendly aquantences to friends.
not that i can spell :D
oh. and i don't have a cat. just a Pete, and he isn't ugly. so there!
no subject
Date: 2009-01-19 06:28 am (UTC)it's actually kinda weird. but you take any random man, and he is personally a nice guy who wouldn't hurt anyone. put him in a group of men, though, and the testosterone and violence become VISIBLE. its a strange gestalt. women do it to, in a slightly different fashion. and i sometimes think that the vicious cattyness that arises from a group of women is more damaging that Bouncing Betty.
but i go through the same thing, in my own fashion, the weird dissonance that you feel hearing about "men", i hear about "women" and about "feminists" and lots of other things. you ever heard the Heinlein theory of committees? "A committee is the only form of life with 50 stomachs and no brain". it's like that, a bit. there are a small, very small number of men who, for whatever fucked up reason, are considered to represent and be the epitome of men (this also obviously applies to women, to blacks, to Jews, to democrats, etc). these men generally are NOT AT ALL like the vast majority of men - reference again Brad Pitt (i use him because i don't like him, but everyone else seems to). He doesn't live a life that you or I or ANYONE that we know can comprehend - he has so much wealth i'm pretty sure he can't quantify it, he has so many fans that i'm sure they've become something less than human to him, etc. and yet he exherts this vast influence over the US population; it is assumed that all women want him and all men want to BE him. this disproportionant representation of men (or any other demographic group) is becoming more prevalent, and it warps our entire society... as a society, we all feel that we MUST follow Brittany and Lindsey and Paris, that we have not just the RIGHT but the DUTY to stalk them, judge them, influence them, pay them, and etc. again, it is assumed that all men want Brittany Spears and all women want to be her. when she did the MTV music awards she looked GOOD, with a very toned stomach - and she was VILIFIED for being FAT (when she was not fat but muscular). and so this, of course, made most women feel that they had to be even SKINNIER... its this never ending cycle, of everyone (even those that vehemently reject this paradigm; no one escapes, and everyone ends up conforming on one level or another)trying to BE THESE FAMOUS PEOPLE because for some reason we believe that these people MATTER. and we all want to matter. and the only way to matter is to be like these people. who we want to be like because they matter...