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Sep. 21st, 2008
i don't want kids
Sep. 21st, 2008 03:26 ami never did. even before the porphyia, when my sisters and i would play house and we had babi, i had twins. when asked why, i always said it was so i could get it out of the way all at once. have both the kids required of me at ONCE, so i didn't have to do it again.
and, again despite the porphyria, the IDEA of being pregnant actually makes me sick. in essence, if i were pregnant, i would feel like i had a TAPEWORM. its a fucking parasite. sure, it's a parasite that may someday, if anyone ever gets around to making artificial uterii so i don't die in pregnancy because i have porphria, grow into an infant (parasite) toddler (parasite) child (a sometimes amusing parasite) teenager (fucking annoying parasite) and then an adult (yet another person driving...).
so, whenever i tell any (non-Pete) person that i don't want kids, the responses fall into one of two categories. it's either "You'll change your mind in time" or it's "What the hell kinda evil non-woman are you!?!?!?"
the first is fucking insulting and patronizing, shades of wandering wombs, echoing the common conception that women are worth no more than thier bodies, and if you only get one pregnant (however you have to do it!) she'll break down and do ANYTHING TO SAVE HER BABY. fucking soap opera bullshit. the second is fucking insulting and patronizing, letting me know that if i don't buckle down and be FEMININE, if i don't fucking SPAWN which is literally the only reason God made me because women are stupid and emotional and evil and have NO FUCKING RIGHTS TO ANYTHING EXCEPT TO ENJOY THE SO CALLED JOY OF MOTHEHOOD, than i have no right to call myself a woman... except i am so obviously not a man, so i MUST be emotionally abused until i drag myself back into the second-class dormitory of womanhood, PMS and childbirth.
yes, yes, i am ranting. sometimes i am allowed to rant. nope, its not PMS, not that anyone will ever no because actually TALKING about menstration, or when i would be, is taboo. menstral blood is a bigger taboo than rape.
and also, before i get those comments i know are coming... go here http://www.amptoons.com/blog/the-male-privilege-checklist/. read it first, THEN complain that i am infringing on whatever. i really really don't make this shit up. i really do have random fucking strangers call me "baby" and "sweetheart" trying to get me to fuck them, and then calling me "a frigid ice cunt" when i politely decline. i really do have random strangers ask me why i don't have children when i am standing in line at the grocery store (randomguy, 50ish, says "You have to be the only woman in the store under 30 who doesn't have a kid. what's wrong with you?" plus, hello, i'm over 30. sigh). and seriously? is it just the tits? i'm ok, but the FUCK? i'm walking with a CANE (on a good day) and random strangers are saying this shit to me like i'm a hot 22 year old they see in a porn??? THIS is why i get so mad...
and, again despite the porphyria, the IDEA of being pregnant actually makes me sick. in essence, if i were pregnant, i would feel like i had a TAPEWORM. its a fucking parasite. sure, it's a parasite that may someday, if anyone ever gets around to making artificial uterii so i don't die in pregnancy because i have porphria, grow into an infant (parasite) toddler (parasite) child (a sometimes amusing parasite) teenager (fucking annoying parasite) and then an adult (yet another person driving...).
so, whenever i tell any (non-Pete) person that i don't want kids, the responses fall into one of two categories. it's either "You'll change your mind in time" or it's "What the hell kinda evil non-woman are you!?!?!?"
the first is fucking insulting and patronizing, shades of wandering wombs, echoing the common conception that women are worth no more than thier bodies, and if you only get one pregnant (however you have to do it!) she'll break down and do ANYTHING TO SAVE HER BABY. fucking soap opera bullshit. the second is fucking insulting and patronizing, letting me know that if i don't buckle down and be FEMININE, if i don't fucking SPAWN which is literally the only reason God made me because women are stupid and emotional and evil and have NO FUCKING RIGHTS TO ANYTHING EXCEPT TO ENJOY THE SO CALLED JOY OF MOTHEHOOD, than i have no right to call myself a woman... except i am so obviously not a man, so i MUST be emotionally abused until i drag myself back into the second-class dormitory of womanhood, PMS and childbirth.
yes, yes, i am ranting. sometimes i am allowed to rant. nope, its not PMS, not that anyone will ever no because actually TALKING about menstration, or when i would be, is taboo. menstral blood is a bigger taboo than rape.
and also, before i get those comments i know are coming... go here http://www.amptoons.com/blog/the-male-privilege-checklist/. read it first, THEN complain that i am infringing on whatever. i really really don't make this shit up. i really do have random fucking strangers call me "baby" and "sweetheart" trying to get me to fuck them, and then calling me "a frigid ice cunt" when i politely decline. i really do have random strangers ask me why i don't have children when i am standing in line at the grocery store (randomguy, 50ish, says "You have to be the only woman in the store under 30 who doesn't have a kid. what's wrong with you?" plus, hello, i'm over 30. sigh). and seriously? is it just the tits? i'm ok, but the FUCK? i'm walking with a CANE (on a good day) and random strangers are saying this shit to me like i'm a hot 22 year old they see in a porn??? THIS is why i get so mad...
